Monday, April 11, 2011

Our Baby Journey...so far

So the news has already spread like wild fire, but for the first time on this blog, we are announcing the most Joyous news Team Oakley has yet to debut....WE ARE ADDING A NEW MEMBER!

That is Right, Team Oakley will go from two to three in September. WE ARE HAVING A BABY!!!!

Beka has had some severe health issues for years now (even before her and Michael met and fell in Love). She has what is called endometriosis (for more information on this disease, please go to http://www.vitalhealth.com/blog/endometriosis/what-it-really-means-to-have-endometriosis/ and educate yourself on what it is and how it affects the families who deal with it). This disease makes it very difficult to conceive. Knowing this even before they got married, Michael and Beka knew they wanted kids, but understood it would be a long a painful road. After three years of marriage, three surgeries, multiple painful and even experimental procedures, and many MANY specialist and doctors, Team Oakley was getting closer and closer to accepting the fact that getting pregnant may not happen for them. They both believe in adoption and foster care, and knew that kids, no matter how they entered their life, would be a reality one day.

They found a specialist in 2010 who was a leader in endocrinological studies at Vanderbilt. He has seen many cases like theirs, and offered some hope. He got Beka on a load of natural and homeopathic remedies to try and help them, and to help with her pain. Michael was super supportive of this lifestyle change, and the work it took took to keep it up. He even started taking some herbal supplements himself, just to be supportive. Team Oakley was more focused on living a full life with as minimal pain as possible with the disease, but in January of this year, they got more of a benefit from these therapies than they had planned :)

After coming back from their vacation, and after their crazy move, Beka was feeling kinda funny. Before heading to the docs and paying them to rule out pregnancy, she decided to take a test herself. She had taken MANY in the past, but was not prepared for the joy of this one........ it was positive........

Michael was still sleeping as this was all going on. She did not know what to do. She just stared at the test....and stared some more. Before running out and jumping on the bed to tell michael, a thought ran quickly though her head, "should I wait and think of a cool or creative way to tell him?".....and the excitement was too much. No creativity, just the news! right now!

She ran in the bedroom, jumped on the bed, shook Michael awake, and said "I need to show you something! I need to show you something!!!" and stuck that test right in his line of sight. He was shocked from being awakened so abruptly, blind without his glasses, and totally unaware of what was going on. After finding his spectacles, and looking straight at the test...he still had no idea what is going on. "What is that?" he asked. "A pregnancy test....it's positive!" I squealed! ........."what does that mean!" he asked, "I think we are pregnant!" I, again, squealed..... The next thing out of his mouth was so classic Michael....."Do you need chocolate?" :)

We laughed and dreamed and were so so so excited. We just laid there and look at the test, not believing that this was happening to us. We also had no idea what to do now. We had never been pregnant before. So Michael determined we needed to buy the expensive tests, just to make sure. That night we went to walgreens and bought a three pack of "the expensive ones". The girl who was ringing up the purchase looked uncomfortable. She must have been like 16. Michael broke the ice with, "I bet this is super awkward for you huh?". She smiled at the truth of the situation. "I never know to say, like, good luck, or, like, better luck next time, you know". Beka assured her it would be a REALLY good thing for them if they were positive, and she enthusiastically cheered, "well good luck then!" and we left with big hopes. When we got home, we took two tests, and they both confirmed what the cheap one did, we were pregnant!!!!

The next Day Beka called her specialist, and asked if he would see them and make sure everything was going the way it should. She was kindly informed, "once he helps you get pregnant, that is where his work ends :)". His job was done. Success! But now we had to find an OB, and one that had experience with Endometriosis.

A few days after that, Team Oakley told Michael's parents, sister, and future brother in law. They were beside themselves with excitement! there was lots of yelling, the lots of tears :)

Michael's mom works as a marriage and family therapist at a clinic that offers health care. We went in to see a doctor that she knew and to know where to go from here. She (the doctor) tested the HCg levels to confirm pregnancy, and asked us some questions about our past health. Upon hearing that Beka had a history of endometriosis and complications, she recommended getting an ultrasound right away to rule out an ectopic pregnancy, which is common for Endometriosis patients. She recommended a nearby OB who had much experience with the disease, and he had just recently opened at a new location, so he did not have a full load of patients yet...and he could see us that day! It was all working out so wonderfully. We drove over there, and were so excited when we met the doctor. It turns out that he had a good standing history with Beka's specialist, and worked hand in hand with him in the past! Team Oakley was thrilled with how everything was falling into place so effortlessly. They had an ultrasound, and it was confirmed that the pregnancy was where it was supposed to be. They figured out we were about 5 weeks, and it was too early to see any baby, just where baby's water condo was forming. We made an appointment for 8 weeks, and got lots of information on what to eat, not eat, do, not do, and all the info no one tells you before you get pregnant. Michael took the opratunity with our new doc to get all the questions he ever had about pregnancy, delivery, and everything in between answered. Our doc was so patient, answered EVERY question, and reassured Michael that we had PLENTY of time to answer all the ones that he forgot to ask.

our first ultrasound photo


We left the doc office walking on a cloud. We were both so excited and so eager to go back at 8 weeks and make sure everything was ok. Other than a fuzzy picture of where the baby would grow and some positive pregnancy tests, there was nothing to show them that this was actually happening. We didn't "feel" pregnant. That changed in about a week.

It was not long before Beka's head felt like a permanent fixture in the toilet bowl. Morning sickness came at all times of the day, and it came HARD. It would not take much to send Beka running to the bathroom to throw up. Nothing seemed to help, and nothing seemed to stay down. But everytime she would be throwing up, Michael would be cheering and yelling in support "isn't this great! it is really happening!" Beka thought it was great too, but was a bit preoccupied in those moments. The fatigue set it harsh as well. She has always battled with some extreme fatigue, but it was much worse with the throwing up, and the surging hormones. There were many little naps on the couch between runs to the bath room. But honestly, even though it was awful, she enjoyed the process. The joy of knowing it was all for having a new life was totally and completely worth it! It would be one more month before the next visit.

With the morning sickness and excitement of the whole process, the three weeks between the doctor's visit's flew by! Before we knew it, Team Oakley was back in the office to see the baby again. We got to see a little gummy bear with a heart beating away! It was a precious moment to know that was growing. What was not precious was when Beka thew up IN the ultrasound room, then had to get seven vials of blood drawn. It was a tough day, but she knew she was going to break the news to her side of the family soon, so it all evened out. Beka's side of the family are all in San Diego, so we asked them to get together to skype. We got a friend of ours to be a spy, and help us to surprise them. We made a puzzle out of the first ultrasound photo, and had them put it together. Before it was even in one piece, her mother and sister were already figuring it out, and in tears. It was a JOYOUS moment that we loved sharing with them.

Again, the time FLEW by, and before we knew it, we were on our way back to the doctor. This time we got to see the little gummy bear bigger and better. It was moving and squirming and jumping around!  There was even a wave to dad as he video taped. The doctor said that it would be one more month, and hopefully at the next visit we could tell if it was a boy baby gummy bear or a girl baby gummy bear. We were so excited to know. We were also excited when the doc told us Beka should stop throwing up soon!!! This appointment was significant, because after 12 weeks, the risks of miscarriage goes way down. So  now we could start spreading the news to everyone that we were going to have a baby!!! We started telling friends, then posted it on facebook, and now the world knows :)

This also appeared at 12 weeks. Hello Belly!


It seemed like the 4 weeks between visits this time was slow. We wanted to know the sex so bad that it made the wait seem longer! But we had the buzz of everyone knowing our little secret and all the love and encouragement from our friends to help pass the time. At the 16 week appointment, we got to see our little baby again. It had grown SO Much from the last appointment! It was moving a lot more as well. We got a good clear shot of the goods, and it looks like a boy! We wanted to jump for joy! Michael knew it was going to be, because he had a feeling, and when Beka had dreams about the baby, it was always a boy. Until 20 weeks it is not 100% certain, but it was pretty clear what was forming :)

This was also forming at a rapid pace

Beka is growing a baby! And it is definitely showing. As of this post, we are around 17 or 18 weeks. The belly, the baby, and the joy and excitement grows daily! at 20 weeks we go back to have an extensive ultrasound to confirm the sex, and check for defects and issues. We are so thankful that the baby is healthy thus far, and that we are even able to do this! sometimes when Michael is talking to the baby, they both get very emotional. Many doctors said this would never happen for them, and above is the beautiful proof! 

There will be a lifetime of stories and adventures to be had with this new baby, and we cannot wait to share them all with you guys! thanks for sharing this one with us!!!

Love,
Team Oakley (the three of us!)

2 comments:

  1. Is "baby water condo" a medical term? Because that sounds an awful lot like Michael... Praying for your family!!

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  2. love the post! beautifully written! i am so amazed at the grace and beauty you've shown throughout the journey. blessings for the days ahead!

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